Friday, January 25, 2008

Why I love the New York Times

Movie Review

Cloverfield (2008)

Cloverfield
Sam Emerson/Paramount Pictures

New York City encounters a new threat in “Cloverfield.”

January 18, 2008

We’re All Gonna Die! Grab Your Video Camera!

Published: January 18, 2008

It was only last month that Will Smith started up boogeyman patrol in Manhattan in “I Am Legend,” and yet here we go again with the end of the world, or at least some of the city’s most exclusive ZIP codes. This time, the annihilation comes courtesy of a reptilian creature with a slithering, smashing tail, multiple grabby appendages and an apparently insatiable appetite for destruction. At one point in “Cloverfield” you get a close, very personal look at that hungry mouth, which agape recalls that of the adult monster designed by H. R. Giger for the first “Alien,” though without any of the older beastie’s freakily sexualized menace or resonance.

Like “Cloverfield” itself, this new monster is nothing more than a blunt instrument designed to smash and grab without Freudian complexity or political critique, despite the tacky allusions to Sept. 11. The screams and the images of smoke billowing through the canyons of Lower Manhattan may make you think of the attack, and you may curse the filmmakers for their vulgarity, insensitivity or lack of imagination. (The director, Matt Reeves, lives in Los Angeles, as does the writer, Drew Goddard, and the movie’s star producer, J. J. Abrams.) But the film is too dumb to offend anything except your intelligence, and the monster does cut a satisfying swath through the cast, so your only complaint may be, What took it so long?

As it happens, “Cloverfield” clocks in at 84 minutes, a running time that includes the usual interminable final credits. The movie moves relatively fast, though it’s nowhere near as economical as its colossus, whose thunderous shrieks and fiery projectiles bring a downtown loft party to a merciful, abrupt end. The loft belongs to a blandly pretty young thing named Rob (Michael Stahl-David), who, on the eve of relocating to Japan for work, has been thrown a farewell party by some other blandly pretty young things. The names we’re meant to remember are those of Rob’s brother, Jason (Mike Vogel), and Jason’s insignificant other, Lily (Jessica Lucas); a bored, boring single, Marlena (Lizzy Caplan); and Rob’s nitwit buddy, Hud (T. J. Miller), who has been recruited to videotape the party.

“Cloverfield” is nominally a monster movie, but mostly it’s a feature-length gimmick. It opens with some official-looking United States government text claiming that the following images were retrieved from what was once known as Central Park. The big (or rather only) idea here is that almost everything we subsequently see is the presumably unedited video material shot by Hud, who, though initially reluctant to pick up the camera, develops a mania for documentation once the monster strikes. So consummate is his dedication to his version of cinéma vérité that he keeps the camera plugged to his eye even while he’s running through hailstorms of debris, trying to cross a fast-collapsing bridge and witnessing friends melt down, bleed out and even die.

For a brief, hopeful moment, I thought the filmmakers might be making a point about how the contemporary compulsion to record the world has dulled us to actual lived experience, including the suffering of others — you know, something about the simulacrum syndrome in the post-Godzilla age at the intersection of the camera eye with the narcissistic “I.” Certainly this straw-grasping seemed the most charitable way to explain characters whose lack of personality (“This is crazy, dude!”) is matched only by their incomprehensible stupidity. Smart as Tater Tots and just as differentiated, Rob and his ragtag crew behave like people who have never watched a monster movie or the genre-savvy “Scream” flicks or even an episode of “Lost” (Hello, Mr. Abrams!), much less experienced the real horrors of Sept. 11.

And, so, much like a character from a crummy movie, Rob hears from an estranged lover, Beth (Odette Yustman), who, after the attack, begs for help on her miraculously working cellphone. Against the odds and a crush of fleeing humanity, he tries to rescue her (unbelievably, ludicrously, the others tag along), which is meant to show what a good guy he is. But heroism without a fully realized hero proves as much a dead end as subjective camerawork that’s executed without a discernible subjectivity. Like too many big-studio productions, “Cloverfield” works as a showcase for impressively realistic-looking special effects, a realism that fails to extend to the scurrying humans whose fates are meant to invoke pity and fear but instead inspire yawns and contempt.

Rarely have I rooted for a monster with such enthusiasm.

“Cloverfield” is rated PG-13 (Parents strongly cautioned). Monster violence and bloody wounds.

CLOVERFIELD

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

I Love Leslie Hall

http://www.leslieandthelys.com/

http://www.leslieandthelys.com/

http://www.leslieandthelys.com/

http://www.leslieandthelys.com/

http://www.leslieandthelys.com/

http://www.leslieandthelys.com/


By request...the lyrics...
Wick wicky wicky wack
On the way to the club we pass a Dairy Queen
You stop cause it you know it means so much to me
We take the back seats out of your mini van
Now we roll like a hummer or a full size sedan
Now park this thing real close to the club
And feel free to break out the golden lady rug
And hold my hand when we approach the bouncer
I don't wanna look like a hungry camp counselor

CHORUS:
Cause this is how we go out
In my town roll down the windows
Let Reba crack the bass
Wave to the hot pocket people with the smiles on they're face
Waiting and wanting just a good time on the dance floor
Shake it if you wanna hear more
Stomp once to hear Britney
Now twice for Beyonce
Now three times if you wanna hear me get nasty (girl get nasty)

All I wanna do is the ziga-zig ahh
A little louder now cause I can't hear yea
You get me hotter than a stick a hot glue
And I'm scrapbooking everything we do
Ring ring ring- that's my cell
Bring the bling when I sing of course I will
Hand it to me to get the people shocked
Myspaced by my lovers can you hear my beat talken
It says I love you

I arrive looking good and thankfully
My pants do stretch which allow me to be
Free on the dance floor but not a cheap date
I poured the body glitter on cause I never hesitate
Now my master plan is to shock then tease
Break ever heart than bust my knees
Proven and groven my brand new dance
Might just be the greatest in the lands
Then the crowd says ahhhhhh when I do my scissor kicks
Then the crowd screams ohhhhh when I do my lady flips

CHORUS

It's two o'clock and the club is closed
Everyone's heading home
I'll see you next weekend
Then I get a tip about a party
Three blocks away

Friends.

joe(1:41:46 AM): aah sorry

aye (1:41:47 AM): you need that in your life

joe(1:41:51 AM): brainfart

joe(1:41:56 AM): hahaha

aye (1:42:01 AM): i love that term.

joe(1:42:05 AM): its a good one

aye (1:42:46 AM): i actually used the word concordance in a sentence

aye (1:42:48 AM): in conversation

aye (1:42:50 AM): with a friend

aye (1:42:52 AM): yesterday

joe(1:42:55 AM): nice

aye (1:42:58 AM): i sound like such a tool bag

aye (1:43:08 AM): but in my head i was like "YES."

joe(1:43:10 AM): i used stagnate and affinity in the same sentence actually just 5 minutes ago

joe(1:43:14 AM): i was very proud

aye (1:43:22 AM): geez

joe(1:43:23 AM): i did the two hands in the air i won the game move

aye (1:43:35 AM): hahahaha

joe(1:43:42 AM): hahaha

joe(1:43:50 AM): it was a triumphant moment

aye (1:44:06 AM): i just love smart words

aye (1:44:25 AM): cause they are guaranteed to give you that feeling

Thursday, January 17, 2008

She really does love her...

Tray: the raven isn't too depressing
Tray: ot looks like its smiling
Tray: hahah
Aye: it looks like ruby <3
Aye: one of the secretaries here is going to see Chris Brown tonight with her daughter
Tray: hahahha
Tray: omg
Tray: it does look like Ruby
Tray: done
Tray: and done
Tray: how many arrows
Aye: YOU'RE GETTING A RUBY TATTOO!!!!!<3
Aye: <3
Aye: <3
Aye: <3
Aye: <3

Friday, January 4, 2008

The Waspiest Site I've EVER SEEN.

Irving, of course, is also a ubiquitous presence in the neighboring village of Sleepy Hollow, which takes its name from his most famous story. The graveyard at The Old Dutch Church has tombstones that inspired the names of fictionalized characters in Irving's works- the most notable of which is celebrated every October with a recreation of the Headless Horseman's ride. Visit Washington Irving's grave at the Sleepy Hollow Cemetery.

Philipsburg Manor, also in Sleepy Hollow, provides a peek at many facets of life during the early years of the county's development. Given to a wealthy resident by the King and Queen of England, Philipsburg Manor offers tours led by costumed guides who will help transport you back to the 18th century.

KykuitSleepy Hollow's Kykuit (left), the estate home to four generations of Rockefellers, boasts panoramic views of the Hudson River. On its extensive grounds lie elaborate gardens containing sculptures by Picasso, Moore, Calder and others. In the coach house, a collection of antique automobiles and carriages are on display. The house itself holds a collection of extremely fine antiques. Tours of Kykuit depart from Philipsburg Manor between April and October.

Thursday, January 3, 2008

Continuation. . .

-Stand up for myself.
-Don't get walked all over.
-Express ideas.
-Think before I speak.
-Be more positive.
-Have more adventures.

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

yes.. lets resolve.

- pee when I have to instead of holding it in until I am about to burst.

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Let's Resolve

- quit smoking.
- save money.
- stay focused.
- get skinny.
- have fun.
- fall'n love.
- be nicer.
- b'less wreckless.
- be fancier.
- do future.