um... bingo?

i'm slowly beginning to recognize that the friends i had in high school probably stayed there for a reason.

i cannot for the life of me try and find in myself why i was the way i was. i know that i was happier then but i do not know how much happier.I know that I was carefree then, but I'm having a hard time remembering what that felt like.

You ever think about how wonderful and naïve you were as a kid and how you would kill to get there again. I don't think I would. As much as we bitch and complain, as many times as we have had our hearts broken and found the pieces to put it back together just to have it broken agaian, as often as we take for granted all of the things that we have and ignore what others don't--- I still can't help but think that if I could go back and do it again I wouldn't.

Today was one of a lot of realizations. I know now that the fact that I've maintained one friend from high school is better than the fleet of friends I used to have. I know now that while tragedy takes lives every day we're all selfish by nature and cannot function when it happens to us directly.

This is a rant and I'm not sure what for or why but it's been one of those days.

I love you doog$