antidepressants have always reminded me of that ren & stimpy episode when stimpy puts that hat on ren and the listen to that stupid fucking song over and over again.
the one part that stick out in my mind particularly, or one that i thought of this morning on the train for whatever reason, was the fact that when ren put the hat on, his lips were forced into a smile and you could hear it happening... like when the tin man was getting loosened up once dorothy found his oil can.
i see pictures of myself when i started zoloft 2 years ago and i look like a fucking zombie and it's almost as if the pills themselves were making me smile in a forced and squeaky way.
i've been restless lately... and worrying a lot. the few times i've taken ritalin i've felt great... really focused on the task at hand and not worrying about whether or not moving in with erle is a good idea, so soon in the relationship. because i do want to move in with him and instead of just letting myself accept the fact that i'm happy, i've got to sit here at work and fucking process everything. how do i get myself on those pills legally? can i?
maybe i should just let my head figure these things out.
i'm going to promise myself (and the internetz) something right now and that is that i'm not going to just sit on this blog and piss and moan about ridiculous things. i do that enough... and this'll be the last post of this nature.
peace.
No comments:
Post a Comment