Decidedly, I hate the sounds of Manhattan... and Brooklyn. And people, it seems.
Last night I went to see Watchmen at midnight. These opening night movies always seem like a good idea but they always result in my zombification the next day. "sleeping" for 4 hours doesn't exactly put me in the mood to wake up, get dressed in an outfit i'm unhappy with and pile on to a train with smelly people that are 4-5 times my weight. i stood next to man today who's music was so loud that i could decipher the beats to the exact Jay-Z song he was listening to AND hear it clearly enough over the rest of the subway car's conversation about chris brown not entering a plea yesterday in court. not only was his music deafening, to me, he wreaked of garlic. at 830AM. i mean, i get it, i do. i'm an italian girl. i can throw down with some garlic. i use anywhere between 6-8 cloves when i make tomato sauce but HOT DAMN. seriously? and then you occupy the whole fucking pole in the middle of the subway car.
someone needs to figure out how to transport people like the jetson's. the tube i mean, not the little cars cause i'd definitely die, but those tubes... i wouldn't have to touch anyone, you could sound/water proof them so you wouldn't get wet when it rained and you wouldn't have to listen to other people's banter and shit.
i'm just bitter my pod didn't work this morning because i hate to listen to subway brakes & other people. a friend of mine at work told me once that she was never a morning person and then one day she switched and began to realize that the morning was her "friend". i need to make that switch because i'm virtually intolerable in the morning.
not virtually, i am intolerable.
you know what else has made me intolerable? the fact that all of the people i love the most are capable of getting into my head and staying there and completely disrupting the flow of things.
fact: i love erle.
fact: i am excited to live with him in june.
fact: i am absolutely petrified of living with him in june.
fact: the fact that i'm petrified and in love with him makes taking this risk and moving in with him and furthering this relationship worth it to me.
i'm an independent person and i've always done what i've wanted but there have always been times where i have put other peoples happiness in front of my own. i went to college and finished early, why? because my mother wanted me to. did it benefit me? yes. did i want to do it? no... in fact i went crazy after graduating because my brain kept telling me that i missed out on a whole year of growing and learning about myself. i pay the cell phone bill... for the whole family. i don't normally eat their dinner. i don't ever ask them for money. i don't ask them for ANYTHING, other than a place to sleep at night.
i'm 22 years old and it's about time that i start living for myself.
make my own mistakes and do my own stupid things.
this will be the greatest adventure, yet!
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