tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow

Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.

Oh, Macbeth... you had it right all along.

--

so many things have happened since the last time i wrote. actually... the last semi-fulfilling day of of work occurred the last time i wrote.

& then wednesday came & i got laid off.
& that's all i'm going to say about that.

i've never been let go, or fired or whatever else you want to call it from a job before & it's been an incredible blow to my ego. actually, an incredibly huge blow. an incredibly huge, gigantic, life-shattering blow to my ego. all of the bells & whistles that go with that frilly language.

truth of the matter is, is that i am no longer working at the law firm.

& now i am on to bigger, better things.

it's funny the way these things happen. when tracy got laid off the first thing we did we huddle around to ensure the fact that she know she wasn't her job. she is a completely separate person from the work she's did there. this is not to say that i thought i was my job. let's hope that, that isn't true. id' like to think it's not. but i jumped into that job so quickly after graduating that it became difficult to distinguish who i was as someone completely separate from the free-spirited NYU college graduate because i had so quickly become a corporate monkey. maybe now is the time i'm supposed to take to figure everything out & as long as i can let my brain rest i'll be fine.

we also drank a lot when tracy got laid off. which i have definitely been doing.

but besides the self-pity & the copious amounts of alcohol has been the realization that i am always silenced with how amazing my family & friends are. i don't know what i've done to have surrounded myself with such supportive, protective & sympathetic people but i know that i have & i know that i couldn't be happier in that sense right now.

i was giving someone i know advice today who has been having girl troubles. he's been making the same mistakes over & over again with women & cars (typical, no?) & he actually asked what i thought to which i replied:

"dude, the only thing i know is that as soon as you stop looking for someone is when the right person comes along."

i've got to give major props to erle lately. tracy put up with me for a few hours on wednesday & then had plans... colby was in from Missouri & the whole family was off doing their own individual things. after working all day & dealing with the belt parkway he shows up at my house with a six pack of beer after i refused to take his calls because in my head i was upset that he hadn't called me all day.

so regardless of the fact that i ignored him, was sitting on my couch with a bandana on & my sweats he still comes into my house, sits on the couch next to me & listens to the same story i've told everyone a million times.

i've never been happier.
i've never felt more loved.
& this is all in the lieu of a position of financial security.
now it's mayhem & to be perfectly honest...

i could give a shit less...
cause i've got someone who loves me regardless
& FRIEND who will get down to take care of me anytime i need her to
& family who can make me laugh at my own situation.

i've got so much time now people... get excited.